Respectful and submissive???

Ok, wives, you are probably wondering if I will ever talk to the husbands. Eventually.....

As our pastor, Matt Chandler, of The Village Church, mentioned a couple of weeks ago when he taught on 1 Peter 3: 1-7, when women and men are addressed in Scripture, it always starts with the women. Interesting, huh?

As we continue through 1 Peter 3, let's look at how a husband perceives his wife's love. How do you think your husband perceives yours?

The answer.....
When he senses your respect and support.

Ladies, do you exude respect and support to your husband? Does he know without a shadow of a doubt, that you are supportive of him, or do you attempt to be his authority? Are you constantly rebuking and correcting him? If so, he may eventually emotionally push away from you. Do you feel as though your husband is disengaged? Do you know why?

You were not created to have authority over your husband. In fact, it causes upheaval and destruction!

Solution: Be assertive in looking for ways to show your husband how much you love him. Your actions and loving attitude will speak volumes.

....1 Peter 3 - Are you a safe place for your husband?

1 Peter 3:1 says, "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands..." A woman is to be in subjection to her own husband. Most of us buck this and don't want any part of it. But do we understand it? What does this really mean? Does it mean she is a "doormat" whom he takes advantage of?

No! What it does mean, is a wife gracefully and reverently takes her place as her husband's biggest supporters and as his biggest helper! "Ugh", you say?? Well , here's the rub. When you are his biggest supporter, it makes him want to run to you, to be around you; to love you more! Hard to believe? I challenge you to try it.

How do you greet your husband when he walks through the door or comes in the room? Not just after work, but anytime? Are you kind, loving, gentle, and soft? Or are you harsh, demanding, abrupt, impatient and critical? Do you make him feel important or unimportant? When he walks in the room, does he feel he is noticed or go unnoticed?

Do you realize what it does to your man to love on him, pay him attention, and be patient with him? It makes him feel he has a place where his body & soul can rest.

"But what about me", you say? I hear you, I really do. But your job is to take care of your side of the street, and see what God does with your husband's heart.

Comments???

......let's continue with 1 Peter 3.......

Do you nag your husband? Gripe at him? Complain to him? I do...... ugh. Gosh I hate that about myself.

Why do I do that??? I do that because it says in Genesis that I will try and lord over my husband in our marriage....one of the consequences of the Fall.

Do you realize that your husband has his own insecurities and self-image problems? So what do you think one of his greatest needs is? It is to have a wife with a supportive attitude.

How does your husband respond to your nagging and critical spirit? Most husbands respond by insulating & hardening his heart against her! Emotionally, rather than drawing close to his wife, he most likely withdraws. Nice huh??? That's what we want, right? Of course not! We want connection in our relationship. We want cohesiveness. We want unity.

So ladies, let's do a heart check....... where is yours in this? Are you willing to be obedient to God and become the wife He has called you to be even if your husband is not being what God has called him to be??

A Deeper look at 1 Peter 3....

I sat, looking out at the mountains in Colorado, a few weeks ago, getting ready to open my study for the day in Rick Renner's "Sparkling Gems". I wondered what it would have for me to think on and learn. It was October 3rd, the 10th anniversary of Jeff and my remarriage to each other. What a day! I thought back to Oct 3, 1999.....Beaver Creek, Colorado, the Beaver Creek chapel, our twins (who were 11 then....21 now), and us....getting ready to recommit our lives to each other. Now it is 10 years later.......what a surreal day. It did not feel real. 7 years of standing for reconciliation, and now....God answering that prayer that never seemed possible. I almost could not breathe. But I did.....and we said "I Do Again". The whole story is told in our book, "I Do Again", released last Dec 2008 by Waterbrook Press/Random House.

So what did I start to be reminded of, and learn, a few weeks ago as I sat staring at the beauty of the snow covered mountains? Much...........

I want to share what god has been showing me and reminding me of........ and will blog on this for a while ( a week or two maybe?? ha ha........it may take that long!

1 Peter 3:1 says " Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even fi some do not obey the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives."

Ok, so right out of the gate Peter is talking about our conduct and how our husbands can be won by our conduct. It hit me right between the eyes. It caused me to cry out to God and ask Him to forgive me for my conduct, even the conduct in my heart (my thoughts, my negativity). I realized that I have a huge responsibility and command form God, not to be taken lightly, that of my husband being won without a word by my conduct.

I did not want to hear it at first. One of the first thoughts I had was, "Well, what about his conduct?".....but God was ot speaking to him, but me! (there are plenty of commands for the guys.....so my job is to take care of my side of the street!

He also tells us in this verse that we are to be "subject" to our husbands. In the Greek, "subject" means hupotasso, which means submitted to some type of authority.

When Jeff and I counsel couples together, one of the first things we talk about is that God designed an order for the home. And until that order is taken to heart and followed there will be chaos in your marriage. God has set the husband as he head of the home and the wife is to respectfully fall in line to submit to his authority. Tough at times, huh??

So wives, you ask "but what if my husband doesn't act like the head, won't take on the leadership role, or is not following Jesus? What do you do?? Before I write the answer I want to hear from you.....................

A must read The Marriage Turnaround by Mitch Temple

"How changing your thinking = changing your marriage!" That is what Mitch Temple's new book The Marriage Turnaround adresses. 

John 10:10 says "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

We often forget that the thief can mess with our thinking! It is easy to have wrong thoughts and motives in our marriages. We must pray against this! Mitch Temple's book is a wonderful depiction of how,  if our mind is thinking on the things of God instead of the flesh, how abundant our marriages can be.

We highly recommend this book. Go to www.mitchtempleonline.com and read more about Mitch's book and ministry!

Blog post submitted to Mitch Temple's blog for his new book Marriage Turnaround

After years of frustration, my longing for emotional fulfillment led me into an affair and, finally, to divorcing my husband after nearly 10 years of marriage. My husband Jeff was blindsided, devastated and angry! Our twin daughters were only 2 years old. Yet, incredibly, 7 years later we stood at the altar, promising to "love, honor, and cherish" one another once again. A new and vibrant love had risen out of the ashes of our family's pain.

Our book, I Do Again, released December of 2008, reveals the hidden secrets that slowly destroyed our marriage and the spiritual awakening that opened the way to the healing of it. Our book offers renewed hope for even the most troubled marriages--and reveals why the rewards of restoration are well worth the wait.

Jeff & I live in Dallas, Texas and are the founders of Hope Matters Marriage Ministries. For the last 9 years we have shared our story with audiences across the nation through radio interviews and TV shows such as MSNBC The Today Show, Life Today, and 100 Huntley. We speak at retreats, marriage conferences and are often featured as the sermon at weekend church services. We are also Biblical counselors and counsel couples locally and across the nation.

For those hurting in your marriage, know that there is HOPE for your marriage no matter what state it is in.

Blessings,
Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs
Hope Matters Marriage Minsitries
www.hopeformarriages.com
www.idoagainbook.com

CBN - The 700 Club

http://www.cbn.com/700club/features/amazing/jeffcheryl_scruggs043009.aspx